An exchange between Shweta Hansda from India and Crishh (pen name) from Nicaragua.
Letter 1
Dear Crissh,
I hope you are doing well.
We will write on the topic of “How to create and foster a society inclusive of all genders and sexual orientations?”. I hope you find my letter to be productive.
We are made for goodness. We are made for love. We are made for friendliness. We are made for togetherness. We are made for all of the beautiful things that you and I know. We are made to tell the world that there are no outsiders. All are welcome: black, white, red, yellow, rich, poor, educated, not educated, male, female, gay, straight, all, all, all. We all belong to this family, this human family, God’s family.
Gender recently has been a word full of conflict for society, and has often been used in discussions and debates. The world is still trying to figure out if it is just about male and female or about more than this.
The term can be regarded as the socially built identities and roles of male, female and gender-diverse people. Gender has a major impact on how someone perceives oneself and others and how people interact.
On the other hand sexual orientation can be a feeling which is romantic, emotional and even sexual. Sexual orientation is a word that is commonly confused with gender identity. To make it clear gender identity is about how a person identifies themselves, which can be male, female or genderqueer,
Let’s be very open, the world has never been supportive enough for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people. They still face a lot of discrimination. The LGTBQ+ population is still struggling for social acceptance, due to which a lot try hard and struggle daily to hide their identity. Most of this is because, on one hand where the mass media is talking about the rights of the LGBTQ+ population, the other part is still using the LGBTQ+ to be a character who can be made fun of.
During my research on the topic, I came across a case about Robert Whitefield. He worked as a business manager in a company where he was harassed for 7 months for his sexuality. After handling this mental abuse for months he then decided to report this matter and took the case to the employment tribunal. Though the concern was reported to the main HR of the company, somehow they never accepted it happened. So keeping in consideration the company’s grievance procedure he then filed a formal complaint which finally resulted to be positive for him. The result was in favour of him and he was then awarded substantial damage.
Discrimination against the LGBTQ+ population has taken up many forms. In certain cases, the population has faced a high rate of harassment and violence. They have been victims of verbal abuse and verbal harassment, which eventually has a major hit on their mental health too. This harassment doesn’t stop, it is further extended to workplaces too. A lot of times the population faces problems even in getting a job for themselves.
In order to create a society that is truly inclusive of all genders and sexual orientations, we must foster an environment of acceptance and respect. This means creating policies and laws that provide equal rights and opportunities for every person regardless of their gender identity or sexual orientation. We must also work to increase public awareness about the issues facing LGBTQ+ individuals so that these issues are no longer invisible or pushed aside. Finally, we must ensure that education on gender and sexual orientation is accessible to each and everyone so that everyone can learn more about the diversity of our society. By working together to create a more inclusive society, we can ensure that everyone has access to the same rights and opportunities regardless of gender identity or sexuality.
When we talk about the LGBTQ+ population, a big lavish wedding is something we don’t really imagine about. But recently, India witnessed a wedding that broke all the stigma against homosexuality. Abhishek Ray, Fashion Designer in Kolkata, and Chaitanya Sharma, a digital marketing expert from Gurugram got married on July 3rd, 2022. The couple met through Facebook in 2020 and kept in touch through video calls since then. They did face some hurdles, like convincing their parents and finding a pandit (priest) for their marriage. But somehow they figured out their own ways and the couple came out beautifully together.
Creating an inclusive society for everyone regardless of their gender or sexual orientation is one of the most important tasks that we face today. We must strive to create a society where all people feel safe, respected and accepted regardless of their gender or sexual orientation. This requires us to foster an environment that promotes inclusivity, respect and equal opportunity. This can be achieved through education, public policies, workplace initiatives and other forms of social engagement. We must work together to ensure that everyone is able to benefit from a truly inclusive society that embraces all genders and sexual orientations without prejudice or discrimination.
We must believe in fostering sexual orientation and gender identity acceptance through different educational programs. To provide a safe space for members to learn about gender, sexuality, and inclusivity without fear or judgment. We must offer comprehensive training modules on gender-related topics in schools and workplaces to help create an environment of understanding and respect.
This was my mindset on gender and sexual orientation. And also how to foster a society inclusive of gender and sexual orientation. What are your views on the topic and how do you think one fosters such a society? Also, what are your experiences and learning on the topic?
Hope to hear from you soon!
Thanks and regards,
Shweta Hansda
Date: 02nd March 2023, Ranchi
Letter 2
Estimad# Shweta Hansda
Saludos cordiales, espero te encuentres muy bien cuando leas estas palabras y deseo que este sea el inicio de una gran alianza e intercambio de experiencias, ideas y estrategias. Realmente estaba ansiosa por leerte y me emociona mucho que podamos hablar de este tema, ¿Cómo crear y fomentar una sociedad inclusiva de todos los géneros y orientaciones sexuales?, contestaré a tus preguntas desde mi sentir y teniendo en cuenta el contexto de mi país, Nicaragua.
Según la constitución política, Nicaragua es un estado laico, es decir, no tiene una religión oficial y por lo tanto, los derechos básicos de la comunidad LGBTIQ no deberían tener mayor problema para ser promovidos y aprobados en las leyes de la nación. Sin embargo, la realidad es muy diferente, muchas personas muestran rechazo y odio hacia la comunidad LGBTIQ, esto a consecuencia de los fundamentalismos religiosos y las creencias erradas que se transmiten de generación en generación. Esto propicia situaciones de violencia ejercida por familiares, compañeros de clase o trabajo, autoridades del servicio público y privado, etc.
El machismo, la homofobia, y los micromachismos colocan a las mujeres y personas de la comunidad LGBTIQ en situaciones de violación de derechos, reducción de oportunidades, invisibilización y discriminación. En su mayoría las mujeres son educadas para ser cuidadoras y brindar impulso a los hombres de sus hogares, familia o trabajo. Se aprende que tener sueños y deseos individuales es egoísta e incorrecto, y cuestionar prácticas machistas es desobediencia y en ocasiones pecado, ni hablar si eres mujer lesbiana, bisexual o persona trans. En estos casos las opciones son ocultar lo que sientes, vivir de apariencias, o asumir tu orientación sexual o identidad de género teniendo claro que puedes perder el respeto o el cariño de familiares, amistades y la sociedad en general, sufrir violencia psicológica o física en la escuela, el trabajo, en la calle, centros recreativos y la mayoría de lugares a los que debes asistir en tu día a día.
Los fundamentalismos religiosos, el tipo de crianza, y la violencia normalizada son el camino perfecto hacia la homofobia. Al ser parte de la comunidad LGBTIQ se debe tener claro que al ser visible no estás exento de ser víctima de esto. La familia es el lugar donde debes sentir amor, respeto y aceptación, pero la realidad es que la mayoría de familias no aceptan o apoyan a su familiar LGBTIQ, y el grupo de personas que tienen la fortuna de recibir apoyo de su familia es muy reducido.
Como activista feminista y parte de la comunidad LGBTIQ pienso que la orientación sexual y la identidad de género no deberían ser un problema, pero la sociedad necesita desaprender muchas costumbres y eliminar muchos mitos. La sociedad debe entender que las mujeres no son un objeto o una herramienta que pueden utilizar a su conveniencia. Todas las personas deben ser libres de elegir sus sueños y metas, y recibir el apoyo de su familia o personas que consideran importantes en su vida. También las mujeres y personas de la comunidad LGBTIQ deberían tener las mismas oportunidades de preparación, aceptación, remuneración y visibilización sin tener que realizar el doble o el triple del esfuerzo que hacen los hombres heterosexuales sisgénero.
Soy una persona con discapacidad visual, con orientación sexual lésbica, e identidad no binaria. A mis 23 años podría contarte muchas experiencias negativas que he vivido y enfrentado desde mi amor y desde mis miedos. A los 14 años estaba 100% segura de que me gustaban las mujeres y empecé a sentir miedo al rechazo y vergüenza, no quería perder el amor ni el respeto de mi mamá y nunca quise que nuestra relación y nuestra unión cambiaran. Lloraba todos los días en mi habitación y reclamaba a Dios el porqué me gustaban las mujeres, y le pedía ayuda para olvidar esos sentimientos y deseos. Con el tiempo comprendí que yo no quería cambiar y lo que realmente deseaba es que mi mamá siguiera sintiéndose orgullosa de mi y mis logros. Ella se dio cuenta que me gustaban las mujeres y me llevó al psicólogo para que me hiciera cambiar de opinión. Por suerte, la doctora se enfocó en ayudarme a que no me sentiera tan mal conmigo misma. Cuando la doctora le sugirió a mi mamá que yo no estaba confundida y que debía trabajar en aceptarme, mi mamá decidió no volver a llevarme a terapia.
Hasta el sol de hoy se que mi mamá se avergüenza de mí por ser parte de la comunidad LGBTIQ. Realmente, me gustaría poder hablar con ella de mis logros siendo feminista, de mis cursos, viajes, conversatorios y eventos importantes y no puedo hacerlo. Tampoco puedo contarle lo que siento al enamorarme, presentarle una novia, que mi novia llegue a casa o a reuniones familiares. Ella tampoco me ha consolado cuando me han lastimado en el amor, no me defendió del acoso escolar y no está para consolarme o defenderme cuando otras personas me discriminan, me atacan o lastiman por mi identidad de género u orientación sexual. Siendo activista he conocido a gente maravillosa me hacen sentir segura y aceptada. Con el tiempo dejó de importarme lo que mi mamá u otras personas machistas y homofóbicas pensaran de mí. Comprendí que lo más importante es mi bienestar y mi felicidad, que el compartir la sangre o la vivienda no es garantía de seguridad y apoyo, y que yo puedo construir mi familia, mis momentos felices y mis espacios seguros. Pero no puedo negarte que en los días difíciles me duele sentirme tan sola e incomprendida por el simple hecho de amar o desear a una mujer.
Considero que la forma de crear una sociedad inclusiva es un proceso largo y complejo, pero no es imposible. Muchas veces el problema principal es la desinformación sobre los roles de género, la identidad y orientación sexual. Una buena estrategia es utilizar las redes sociales para difundir información sobre lo que significa ser mujer o ser parte de la comunidad LGBTIQ en una sociedad castigadora e incomprensiva. Tambien difundir información sobre el daño que causan los fundamentalismos religiosos y las ideologías cerradas y extremistas. Amar no es un error y no debería ser un problema relevante si te gusta una persona de tu mismo sexo. Es muy importante que en las escuelas y universidades exista una educación sexual y de género. Esta educación debe ser para docentes, estudiantes y familiares, con el objetivo principal de que todas las personas se sientan libres de decidir sobre sus cuerpos y sus sentimientos. Además es importante que existan leyes que protejan a la comunidad LGBTIQ, para que amar y desear no sean delitos, siempre y cuando exista respeto y reciprocidad.
Me encantó leerte y realmente espero haber dado respuestas a tus preguntas. ¿Me contarías un poco más sobre el contexto que se vive siendo parte de la comunidad LGBTIQ en tu país? ¿Conoces estrategias que estén implementando personas de la comunidad LGBTIQ de tu país para ser aceptadas y respetadas? ¿A título personal qué te gustaría hacer para promover una sociedad inclusiva sin importar la identidad de género u orientación sexual?. Desde ahora quiero que sepas que cuentas conmigo en lo que sea que pueda ayudarte. Me gustaría conocer más de tus luchas personales y sobre las ideas que deseas llevar a cabo con relación a este tema.
Saludos y espero leerte pronto.
Chrissh, 24-03-2023, Managua.
Letter 3
Dear Crissh,
I hope you are doing well. To begin with, yes, these letters are definitely going to be the beginning of our wonderful alliance. I have just finished reading your letter, and trust me, words are not enough to describe how bravely you have described everything that you went through and are still facing. Also, I am so proud of you for having spoken up about your sexual orientation and experiences with such ease.
Speaking about the situation in India, even after decriminalising homosexuality, the LGBTQ community is still facing challenges there. There are still instances of discrimination, social stigma, and violence against LGBTQ+ individuals. Many individuals still face prejudice and discrimination from society, which sadly but most commonly includes their own families.
If we look at the political landscape of the rights of LGBTQ+, it varies across different states in India. Even after decriminalising homosexuality across the country, individual states in India have different attitudes and policies towards LGBTQ+ rights based on their own culture and social and political factors. Some states still hold conservative views on homosexuality and have social and legal restrictions against the LGBTQ+ community. However, some states have taken progressive steps towards LGBTQ+ rights and inclusivity. For example, states like Delhi, Maharashtra, and Karnataka have now implemented policies to protect individuals from discrimination; they are being provided health care services; and there is now awareness and acceptance among the people. These states have also seen genuine LGBTQ+ pride marches and even other events advocating for LGBTQ+ rights.
Indian mythology and religious beliefs are complex and diverse, and different interpretations exist within various sects and traditions. In some interpretations, Indian Gods and mythology are seen as having inclusive and accepting attitudes towards LGBTQ+ individuals, while in other interpretations, there may be more conservative views. One example of a Hindu god associated with LGBTQ+ identities is Ardhanarishvara, a form of Lord Shiva that represents the union of the male and female aspects. Ardhanarishvara is depicted as a half-man, half-woman deity, symbolising the idea of gender fluidity and the acceptance of diverse gender identities. There are also references in Hindu mythology to same-sex relationships, such as the story of Mohini, an incarnation of Lord Vishnu, who is described as an androgynous deity and is believed to have married a demon king named Bhasmasura. This story is often interpreted as accepting same-sex relationships. However, it’s important to note that interpretations of mythology can vary widely, and not all interpretations view LGBTQ+ identities positively. Some interpretations may consider homosexuality taboo or sinful, citing traditional gender roles and norms. In the context of LGBTQ+ rights and homosexuality in modern India, there are ongoing debates and discussions within religious and societal frameworks. While some progressive individuals and groups advocate for acceptance and inclusivity of LGBTQ+ individuals based on interpretations of Indian mythology that emphasise diversity and tolerance, there are also conservative voices that adhere to traditional norms and may hold discriminatory attitudes towards LGBTQ+ individuals.
Being a part of the LGBTQ+ community in India is actually both empowering and challenging. While I have seen significant strides toward the LGBTQ+ community’s rights in recent years, there are still barriers and obstacles that the individuals in India are facing. People face a lot of social stigma, discrimination, and prejudice due to deep-rooted societal norms, cultural beliefs, and a conservative attitude towards sexual orientation and gender identity, which has majorly affected various spheres of their lives, especially their family, workplace, education, and public spaces. Many LGBTQ+ individuals are also suffering from anxiety, depression, and social isolation due to societal attitudes and a lack of support systems. There is no LGBTQ+-inclusive healthcare service that includes gender-affirming healthcare and mental health support.
The LGBTQ+ community in India has been actively advocating for acceptance and respect in society and implementing various strategies to promote their rights and well-being and has been actively engaging in legal advocacy to challenge discriminatory laws and seek recognition of their rights. One significant milestone was the decriminalisation of homosexuality in India in September 2018, when Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code, which criminalised consensual same-sex relationships, was struck down by the Supreme Court. The LGBTQ+ community continues to work towards legal reforms to protect their rights in areas such as marriage, adoption, employment, and healthcare. There are workshops, seminars, and public events that are actively led by LGBTQ+ individuals to dispel myths, misconceptions, and stereotypes about LGBTQ+ individuals and promote positive visibility through media campaigns, social media, and public relations efforts. They also conduct LGBTQ+ pride parades, events, support groups, and social gatherings, as well as create online platforms and networks for community members to come together and share resources, information, and support. They include lobbying with policymakers, engaging in dialogues with stakeholders, and advocating for LGBTQ+-inclusive policies in areas such as employment, healthcare, housing, and education.
There is surely a lot to do to promote an inclusive society, regardless of gender identity or sexual orientation. But personally, the least I can do is take the initiative to learn and educate others more about gender identity and sexual orientation. Read books, articles, and resources from reputable sources to gain a better understanding of the LGBTQ+ community, its history, challenges, and rights. And make sure people are aware of correct terminology and avoid making assumptions or using derogatory language. Interact with people of diverse gender identities and sexual orientations with an open mind and respect. Listen to their experiences and stories with empathy and understanding. Engage in meaningful conversations, ask questions with genuine curiosity, and be willing to learn and grow from their perspectives. Respect and use the correct pronouns and gender identities of individuals as they identify themselves. Ask and use preferred names and pronouns, and respect their privacy if they choose not to disclose. Avoid making assumptions about someone’s identity or orientation based on their appearance or other characteristics.
Now that you found me worthy enough to have opened up, I’d like to share something with you, one of my experiences that I’ve never been able to properly share with anyone. So there used to be a friend of mine, and I could always sense he was not like other guys; he had all feminine preferences. When we were initially growing up, he used to hang around more with me and the other girls in the group, which was really made fun of by the students and also by our teachers. After some time, we got busy with our own careers. It was during the COVID pandemic that he called me and said he does not identify himself as a man but feels more like a woman. I wasn’t really shocked because somewhere I always knew about it. The main thing for which he called me was that he was not accepted by his family after sharing this and was living a miserable life. And unfortunately got addicted to drugs and alcohol, which made him both mentally and physically sick. I could hear him crying badly over the call. So I asked him to wait until I could meet him face to face. But I guess it was too late; I lost him one month after the call. And writing about him even now makes me both sad and guilty.
Reading your letter really gave me the strength to share this incident with you. I also hope I can answer your questions. Could you please help me understand in depth the challenges that the LGBTQ+ community in your country is facing? What are some important issues or topics that you think people should be aware of regarding LGBTQ+ rights and acceptance? Are there any misconceptions or stereotypes about the LGBTQ+ community that you would like to address or clarify? I am eagerly looking forward to your response.
I hope to hear from you soon!
Thanks and regards,
Shweta Hansda
Date: 14TH April 2023, Ranchi
Letter 4
(Due to circumstances, Crishh couldn’t send the last letter).